Tis the Season

Seasons change, as do people.
It's a beautiful part of life.
You get to go to new places,
and meet new people.
But.
The people from my past,
aren't really part of the past at all.
They are part of my present.
They've helped shape who I am,
Who  I was,
Who I am becoming.
They are part of my heart,
and all that it holds.

When Jesus Knocks

I love how beautiful Jesus is.
How He meets us where we're at.

I'm in this process, allowing Jesus to breathe life into my heart again. I endearingly call this my deiceification process. One of the areas of my heart that He's breathing life into is my heart for the nations- and one continent in particular - Africa. I'm not in a place where I would go right now. So God brought someone to me. :)

I'd probably only been awake for a half an hour, still recalling the dreams that I dreamed last night, when I heard the doorbell ring, not once- but twice. I answer the door expecting a salesman, but to my surprise there was a 12 year old (soon to be 13 year old) girl named Elizabeth asking for directions to her school.

I told her- but then noticed there wasn't a car around at all, and asked her if she had walked. She had taken the city bus from another town, to my town and had been walking quite a ways in the opposite direction of her school. I offered her a ride... pause here... The car that I drive only became drive-able not even 48 hours ago! I love this...


While I was gathering my keys and purse, she noticed some photographs that my mom has on her walls.

She asked if they were of Africa. I had said yes they were from when I had gone and then and asked her if she had family there- she shared that she was from Liberia, and then later when asking her if there was any way that I could pray for her- she shared that her mom dad and brother were still there. We talked and I just got to know her a little bit as I took her to school. It turns out that one of the buses was early and many kids missed the bus today.

I love that of all of the houses that she could have knocked on, she came to mine. Jesus knew how to take care of each us- her in her need to get to school- and me in my desire to reach out, and give.

Another little fun thing is that her name in the Greek means "oath of God" or "God is satisfaction" Two realities that are very near to my heart right now.

Life in Jesus is the best.

Relentless

I started to work out for a period of time. And pretty early in the morning at that!

I'd wake up at 4, bike to meet my friends, workout, hang out at Starbucks, and then bike home.

That was my morning routine.

There was one day in particular that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

The cool of the morning hadn't quite lifted, as the sun was just about to make its move, and take position in the sky. And as I passed through a particular neighborhood I noticed something was off. Well... something was on, and it wasn't quite right.

Someone had left their car lights on over night. I froze, and attempted to balance on my bike while I figured out my next move. Someone may not be very pleased if this car doesn't start, and they aren't able to get to work or wherever they need to be for the day. It could throw their whole day off. I left my bike at the curb. I had to act.

I walked up to the house that the car was parked in front of and knocked obnoxiously loud. Mind you, this was still within the early part of the six o' clock hour and I may have been needing to wake someone from sleep. No one answered at this house, so I proceeded to the apartment complex nearby.

The first person didn't know whose car it was, the second pointed me to the next complex over, and finally the third person pointed me to whose door I should have been knocking at all along. A young woman answered the door with an initial look of hesitation and awkwardness. Her expression changed drastically to gratefulness and relief as I explained the reasoning for my early knocking. She'd been having issues with the lights of her car staying on, and was immensely appreciative of my sharing with her as she had recently just experienced some rougher hiccups in her days dealing with it.

Satisfied that all was well and right in the world for that moment, I climbed onto my bike to head home. As I did, I felt the Lord whisper something like this to my heart, "THIS is how I want you to be with My Gospel"

This pretty much knocked me off my feet. I had been RELENTLESS. I didn't care how many people I woke up and dragged out of bed, or who didn't come to the door- I was on a mission.  I was going to find the one person whose day could have been dramatically changed by this news.

This is how I want to be with sharing the Gospel- unhindered, with nothing held back; unashamed, with nothing to hide; without any hesitation of closed doors- simply, openly, and beautifully .... Relentless.

Listening to that which beats within Your chest beyond the wrinkles of time

I love you- and that will never change-

not with the passing of time-

the wrinkling of the face-

not with mistakes, nor misspoken words.

I love you and that will never change

You cannot leave My presence- I am always near.

I'll bring peace to your being, peace to your <3

There will be rest for your <3 in all this, rest for your soul.

                                                      In Me. In Me. 

                                                      ...

How do I stay in you?

...

My Word

You're My Oasis in the Desert

One thing about deserts-  they are HOT
Hot enough to burn away all the yuck.

Refining, Redefining.

Blossoming, Growing.

Through everything there is one thing that I know...

God is good.

All of the time, HE IS GOOD.

And nations will KNOW of his goodness.
They will taste of the sweetness of his love.
They will experience His heart of mercy and of grace.
They will KNOW His truth, and they will be free.
They will KNOW who they are in Him.
Apart from him nothing can really exist... It withers away with the heat of the sun
But what He builds lasts.

He designed this heart
This heart that holds so much love for the nations
I will not let this voice be silent
For I will yet sing, continue singing, and DANCING
for the greatness of God.

A Blank Page and Plenty of Ink

The sun beating upon my back
Precious words before my eyes
Flying high above, soaring through the skies

Ink built up, ready to spill
to pen pages and pages and share with the world

The life that's held within,
The beauty that this heart holds.
Ready to make an impact;
To produce, shape and mold.

Carefully crafting clouds,
Sending them through the air.
With one breath,
One strong life filled breath
Birthing that which is new,
and letting it dance through the sky.
Dancing with the sun,
and singing with the stars

Recollecting times of before
Dreaming all the dreams that are in store...

Provision Upon Provision

My palms were a bit sweaty as I carried the shiny green bike frame up our flight of stairs. I was nervous about locking up on the veranda where everyone could see it. I had become quite vigilant about locking it up within the closet of our apartment's car port.

Not too long before, I had left my bike just outside the closet door, in between my friends car and the closet. When I went to go to work, my bike was gone. I had taken as a personally, as the bike had been a gift from some dear friends.

I was going to start school which was a good 10 minute drive from my house, and as I later came to know because of my friend's generosity, about a 25 mn bike ride.

I was so sad starting my shift right after I had found out. I shared with a few of my regulars what had happened, as they had expressed their concern for me.

Later that evening, Barry, a sweet older gentleman who comes in every day to get his wife 2 Venti Caramel Macchiatos (one for that afternoon, and the other that she reheats for the morning). This was his second visit of the day, and as he walked in the door - he pointed to me and that he needed to talk to me. I was making drinks- so I was going to take a few seconds to finish up and as I did, he wheeled in a beautiful green mountain bike!

I came from behind the counter and gave him a huge hug. "I told my wife about your loss, and she wanted you to have hers. She only rode it once or twice"

It was so incredible to me how God used this family that I barely new to bring so much hope to my heart, and share so much of my Father's heart toward me.

A few days later I was hanging out with a friend on my day off, when I received a phone call from my store. I reluctantly answered as I didn't want to work on my day off and had figured that was the nature of the call. To my surprise, Mohammad, another regular from our store (grande coffee) was on the store's phone. "Natasha, come to the store right now." My friend and I walked to Starbucks to meet him, and there he was with a big grin on his face, a white towel in his hand. He handed me the towel and said that it might need to be wiped off and pointed to the bike propped up against the window of the store... He also handed me a pump which I could keep to make sure the tires stayed full (which is so awesome because I secretly don't like going to the gas station to fill my bikes tires).

I had one need - transportation to school.

God provided, not once, not twice, but three times over. Restoring what I lost two times over.

So I now have two beautiful mountain bikes, and am able to share my bike with a coworker who was also needing some form of transportation to and from school.

Back to carrying my bike up the flight of stairs... As I locked it up I didn't understand why I felt God nudge me to lock it up there as opposed to in the closet. Periodically throughout the night I'd take a peek to make sure it was still there. Finally, I let go, and decided to trust Him. If it was Him nudging me to do so, then he'd also take care of it, even if I didn't understand why...

Later on He whispered over my heart... I want to put on display my provision for you.

And every day that I go to lock it up or unlock it, I'm reminded of how well He takes care of me :)

Honesty is the Best Policy

Being honest with where you're at can sometimes take guts.

To expose not where you want to be, nor where you've been; rather, where you ARE.

NOW

UNASHAMEDLY

Sometimes, that's the only way to get to where you want to be-

All the wishing in the world can't get you from where you are to where you want to be without being honest about where you are.

For example - my Robinson Crusoe paper.

I got stuck.

Yes circumstances happened to coincide with the timing of the due date, but the reason as to why I was stuck was my unwillingness to admit where I was at and that I needed help.

The longer that I let time pass, the harder it was to come forward with where I was at... the first paragraph.

Crazy Week. Due date passes. I let this one slip by.

Then steps in grace - another chance.

But now it's been months and I'm still on the intro paragraph.

Another due date about to slip by.

And Grace comes aknock'n at my door.

So this time, I let her in.

Show her exactly where I'm at what I was thinking and where I'm stuck.

2 sentences later - and I have CLEAR VISION, and DIRECTION.

No longer hiding behind my I've got it together face.

A little more freedom, and a bit of sweet success.

I proudly report that my relationship with Ol Robbie that sea-faring wanderer, has now come to an end :)