Flower Fun

My friend asked me to do the flowers for her wedding, and I was beyond thrilled!

We found some beautiful pieces to play with!

The finished product... (I couldn't decide which filter I liked more)

Had just enough time to make a flower crown for her little girl :)

He happens to be a hugger, so his flower didn't quite make it to the ceremony...

Table arrangement

Decorated their baskets with some fun ribbon.

Witnessed the marriage of these two wonderful people!

Tuckered out from the day's activities, but my heart was FULL!

IG: PineapplesForParadise

Psalm from the Heart

How long O Lord?
How long will my heart be searching?
How much longer before I can share this deep love that You've placed within my soul?
How long before I see my heart for family realized?
How long before I will continually share the depths of who I am with a man?
How long before this man shares the depths of who he is with me?
How long before we enter into covenant?
How long before two become one?
How long before the emptiness of my hand and my heart become full?

But, Papa, I know that my hand is not truly empty- for you have always been holding mine in yours.
You have never left me in wanting for something you cannot satisfy.
Thank you- Your timing is perfect.
Thank you- Your way is right.
Thank you- Than You are shaping me into more of what you've intended for me to be.
I know that you will bring forth---and I thank you for--- the man of great strength and mind and heart that you have for me.
A man whose heart is Yours
A man who bears Your image
And sees your image in mine.
That together, we will greater reveal your heart for this perfect time- for the places and nations you will set before us

We place our trust and hope in you, O Lord.
For we know your way is best
You are faithful
You are good
You are true

You never leave or forsake us
You haven't placed within me deep longing for things without hope
I trust you, Papa,
I do.

I wrote this in October of 2015, but thought to share it just now as I have been SO encouraged in this journey. I will meet new people in the passing- on a bus, on a plane. And regardless of the fact that my fingers are presently ringless, I am always asked if I am married. People seem disappointed when I'm not. Not necessarily because it is a social norm (but maybe so). But they all seem to see and to voice the quality person that I am- the can see the value that I hold, and desire for someone to value me deeply in this way. I get it. I do too. It never fails to inspire hope to my heart. I've had many a blessings, prayers, and well wishes from perfect strangers along this journey. Helpers within my story. The story is of course still in process, as it will forever be. But I am grateful to all you who have spoken life into my future, and peace into my present. Thank you

-----------

I hope that for you who are determined not to settle find encouragement in this <3

-------------------
September 1st 2017:

Little did I know that just months later I'd meet the man with whom that I'd spend the rest of my life.
Little did I know that you were guiding my every stride.
Little did I know that one cup of tea would change my whole world.
Little did I know the amount of safety, security, and comfort that I'd find within his arms.
Little did I know that my favorite place to rest my head would be upon his chest.
Little did I know that you were saving the best of the best.

Time and Space of My Heart

These days my heart is filled with so much vibrancy of color and complexity of sounds and radiant light.

I just want for this heart to burst forth onto a multidimensional canvas that moves and reflects light, and where sound can be seen heard and felt!

The piece would be abstract with colors of sound dripping everywhere while it dances with light.

But.
This canvas is not yet.
And I feel this weightiness of heart,
a good weight,
a grounding weight,
an anchoring weight.
A weight that causes the colors and music and light to to be pipelined into distinct spaces for each sound each color each wave of light.
Patiently (and sometimes not so patiently) I watch each of these elements of my heart find their individual places.
Like a supernova I want for this all to explode forth.
But.
I see the purpose of waiting.
Space is being made.
It's with a steady hand that I'll be able to pick each color, each sound bite, each light ray to begin to create the most beautiful of dancing fractals.


...
In the meantime I think I'm going to start watching monks make mandalas... ;)

Pan-handled Pondering

Tonight we had a lovely women's night with ladies from my church- a place of new beginnings. I am excited for all that will be birthed out of this new place of connecting and reconnecting. I haven't been a part of a church for a while as the most recent community I had been a part of ended up being a very painful experience to all involved. To new beginnings!

The theme of our night centered around an act of service to the communities in which we each live. Everyone brought something: deodorants, toothbrushes, granola bars, waters, socks, scarves, underwear, etc. And we packed little care packages to share with the people we encounter in need on the street. This was a super fun activity and terrific way to connect with one another and provide avenues to connect in our respective communities where we live or work or study.

Some of the conversations surrounding the night I found fascinating. It opened my eyes to the cultures in whose midst I stood. Not bad. Just different. And always good. I heard twangs of apprehension and stretching into a new arena for some. From others I heard of the years or traditions families have made around serving the least of these. In whatever arena I find myself, I always feel bicultural- like I live in the realm of the both/ and.

Both of my parents work in some ways directly or indirectly with those in the system or off grid. Single teen moms on welfare to the train hopping travelers. Through them I've had an indirect access to the other worlds surrounding us.  Though I don't know the depths of the struggle of true homelessness (I've had very limited couch hoping experiences during in between seasons with foreseeable reprieve)  some people very dear to me have experienced the depths of the struggle encountered in homelessness. Through my parents, I've had more prominent connections with some people, and almost regard each other as long lost friends when we each inquire about one another through one of my parents.  Others have been very formative in my thinking (and style!) even in such a brief encounters as giving someone a ride who got separated from their traveling crew. And. At the same time, as my parents are more aware of the interworkings of these cultures- I've been kept at a safe distance. Sheltered. Yet Not. Sheltered enough to be safe, yet not sheltered enough to be kept away from these worlds. Instead I've been given the opportunity and freedom to embrace and build friendships. A sort of urban biculturalism.

So that's the set up. And here are the thoughts...

When encountering pan-handlers a common phrase I hear (and one that has been the guiding of my own actions in some situations) is, "I don't give money, because I don't know what they're going to spend it on..." Totally valid. We invest our money where we want to see something in return. We desire for there to be a fruitful return, whether to us or to the person we give to. But this draws out a bunch of questions for me...
Okay so if that's our stance then, the products we buy, the companies we are supporting- are we too taking into account where they spend their money whether to line the pockets of the CEOs to spend simply on more expensive booze or vices? Are we gaging whether where we buy our clothes or foods to ensure there is a benefit to all to give back to it's people who've developed, manufactured, produced, and advertised their product. Or do we look at where we are spending our money? On necessity? On pleasure? On self medication? On other investments that bring forth life?
It may not be the typical 9-5 but can we regarded pan-handlers as business men. Working shifts to earn their living to cover their necessities, pleasures, self-medications, and investments. I guess the point to my questions. Whether on the street corner or in the skyscraper aren't we all the same? And if we are concerned with peoples vices, are we offering another way? Are we willing to step into the unknown depths of peoples souls and partnering with them in it. Expectancy of hope and healing and new life.
And the withholding of our money is this a posture of our hearts? Withholding the offering of ourselves in our time? Maybe it's not. I know there is a practicality to budgeting what and where and how we give in order to be good stewards of what we are entrusted with whether it be time or finances.
A face comes to mind. She asked me for money, I asked her what for? A beer, she bluntly responded. I ended up walking into the local convenience store and getting her favorite. I want to say that as we sat on the curb a remarkable life changing experience happened. Maybe it did, and maybe it didn't. I don't know. I don't know the effects that this singular moment held. I know that we continued to waive in the crossing of our paths.
But then what if I give someone the money they need to OD?
It's a risk.
But I can't help but always think of the potential for good that each heart holds. And as I give, I trust the motive of my heart, and the bigness of God to shape and move and mold both where my hand is set out to give, and the hearts of those that receive.

A song by Jenny and Tyler comes to mind as I write:

I am who I am because of who my Grandma is.

I am who I am because of who my grandma is.

I say “is” because she lived her life in such a way that she is still alive today. Not only in memories and attributes she deposited in each of us, but also before the throne of her father. Now fully alive, even more alive than she ever was here.

If there is anything that anyone could ever express about Grandma Pat, it’s of her love. The love that she tangibly expresses daily is one that reflects the heart of God. She was at EVERY major event in my life. Selflessly, in every way imaginable it flows from her.  Her joy-filled smile to express her excitement to see you, sharing who she is with anyone and everyone she meets. She doesn’t just hold love in her heart, but expresses it to make a lasting impact on the world.

My Grandma is a LOVER.

One thing that blesses my heart is that she is always giving.  She would save up her change and give me a bag full to give to missionaries in Africa. It would only be a few dollars worth, but she gives what she has. She made up a shoebox each year to send Christmas gifts to those who have so little. Whenever I traveled out of the country for missions she gave $5 each month to support what Jesus and I were up to. She is always quick to pull out orange Tic Tacs or some goody to fill your sweet tooth. 

My Grandma is a GIVER.

            A good word is never to far from my grandma’s lips. She is quick to point out a job well done. A card sent out for every occasion signed with Love ‘N Prayers from Grandma Pat.

My Grandma is an ENCOURAGER.

            Once we pulled out every stuffed animal in the yard, made snacks, crowns out of little white flowers to celebrate the marriage of our Teddy bears and threw them a huge wedding party.

            With every game a life lesson learned: lessons about how to enter in, of how to be prepared for any given situation. She knows how to value a child and validate them recognizing where they are at and investing and encouraging their play.

My Grandma is an ENGAGER and a TEACHER, PRESENT to every opportunity.

            When she’d stay with us, night after night would be filled with stories of the “Good Old Days” as I would call it. Sharing the details of life’s ups and downs many of her kids and their lives and maybe a handful of others here. At bed time, Gabby and I would beg for one more Good Old Day Story.

My Grandma is a STORYTELLER.

            My grandma is not afraid to take risks, break through social norms to love, protect, care for and be with kids or grandkids. Her travels are many from the picnics in the park, to venturing around the country, and even to Costa Rica. Nothing can hold her back with boldness and extreme vigor she goes forward.

My grandma is an ADVENTUROUS PIONEER

            She would punch holes in construction paper and have us weave yarn through the holes with a needle made of cardboard. She made every Halloween costume, p.j.s, shirts, pillos, scrunchies for birthdays and Christmas. She decorated her apartment with each season. We made SO many crafts: pencil holders, play dough, collages- I can’t even count the number of crafts we completed.

My Grandma is CREATIVE and CRAFTY.

            These are just a few of the many attributes my grandma shares and holds. Many, I’m sure, gained along the way. Swimming through many of life’s waters, both rough and smooth. No matter how turbulent the waters she swims through with such poise and grace. And even know, I can’t help but think she is swimming .

I want to invite you into something…

I’ve been thinking about heaven a lot in the last couple of weeks. So imagine with me a moment.

4 After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice which I had heard addressing me like [the calling of] a ^[a]war trumpet said, Come up here, and I will show you what must take place in the future.

² At once I came under the [Holy] Spirit’s power, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with One seated on the throne!

³ And He Who sat there appeared like [the crystalline brightness of] jasper and [the fiery] sardius, and encircling the throne there was a halo that looked like [a rainbow of] emerald.

⁴ Twenty-four other thrones surrounded the throne, and seated on these thrones were twenty-four elders (^[b]the members of the heavenly Sanhedrin), arrayed in white clothing, with crowns of gold upon their heads.

⁵ Out from the throne came flashes of lightning and rumblings and peals of thunder, and in front of the throne seven blazing torches burned, which are the seven Spirits of God [^[c]the sevenfold Holy Spirit];

⁶ And in front of the throne there was also what looked like a transparent glassy sea, as if of crystal. And around the throne, in the center at each side of the throne, were four living creatures (beings) who were full of eyes in front and behind [with intelligence as to what is before and at the rear of them].

⁷ The first living creature (being) was like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature had the face of a man, and the fourth living creature [was] like a flying eagle.

⁸ And the four living creatures, individually having six wings, were full of eyes all over and within [underneath their wings]; and day and night they never stop saying, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty (Omnipotent), Who was and Who is and Who is to come.

⁹ And whenever the living creatures offer glory and honor and thanksgiving to Him Who sits on the throne, Who lives forever and ever (through the eternities of the eternities),

¹⁰ The twenty-four elders (^[d]the members of the heavenly Sanhedrin) fall prostrate before Him Who is sitting on the throne, and they worship Him Who lives forever and ever; and they throw down their crowns before the throne, crying out,

¹¹ Worthy are You, our Lord and God, to receive the glory and the honor and dominion, for You created all things; by Your will they were [brought into being] and were created.

            -Revelation 4:1-10 Amplified Version

Because of who Grandma Pat is, what draws me particularly lately is the sea of glass. Liquid like sea? Solid like glass? Is it both? Regardless I can totally picture grandma swimming around the throne praising the Lord with an aquatic dance.

            She lived her life responding to the invitation of her Father. She started that dance, that life here and paved the way for me, and many here to enter in and truly live life.

Faith in What?

What I believe, and how I believe is ever being transformed. Some recent stirrings of my heart, and some good conversations inspired this. This isn't concrete or set in stone. Like anything within my life and heart, I desire for this to be malleable.

I believe that God is love. He - (I don't think that God is limited to one gender, I think that since we are created in His image both male and female the coming together of man and woman greater exemplifies the character of God-but I use the pronoun He, because it's just easier)- He is so much more- but ultimately love. I don't think that He's far off, rather SO near- tangibly expressing that love in both the extravagant and the most minute of details. Always communicating and if we are just willing to notice we'd be able to enter into some pretty awesome conversations. I believe that He has SO much for us. He has so much to give, and draw out within us. 

I think that we are His works of art, and He is so invested, in seeing us learn, grow, and meet our full potential. He is committed. I feel like each of us embody certain characteristics of Him, and that the entirety of the universe is filled with the anticipation of us becoming all that He's created us to be. And first and foremost (aside from what we DO) that anticipation built up around us knowing who we truly are- sons and daughters of the living God. Sons and daughters of our King! And with Him being King- and us being his BELOVED children- there is an inheritance with that, an authority that we have on this earth now and in the age to come. 

As His children, not only are we taken care of by Him, but empowered to create or reshape life both in the tangible realm and the unseen. Partnering with Him as powerfully creative life forces, since He has come to give us life and life abundantly. I think that we are unsettled with things pertaining only to this realm as the longings we hold within our hearts can only truly be satisfied within our connection with Him. I think that matters of our hearts can hinder that connectedness with Him- not from His standpoint, as I believe His heart is ALWAYS for us, and He is always pursuing us in love. Rather, from our temporal inability to to let go of whatever we are holding and embrace him. (Like in the Garden when God was looking for Adam and he had been hiding.) 

So I think that sin separates us from God, not because God can't get his hands dirty, but because we spend so much effort distancing ourselves due to shame. I think that the purpose of the law was to exemplify how much we couldn't do this life within our own strength and that we are dependent upon God. I think that the commandments were things to help us govern our hearts, and the life that we share with others- a template for how to love well. That this life is about loving God, ourselves, and others with all that we are. And I think that that's where Jesus comes in. 

I believe that we encounter a triune God. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And because we can tend to get so wrapped up in performance and the tallies either for or against us, that He came to walk among us- show us how to live dependently upon God, and to shake up everything we ever clung to (whether that be people, places, profession, ideas, etc). He showed us how to truly live in the laying down of His life. He demonstrated that there is life in the laying down of our lives. THAT is love. Emptying out yourself for another person. (but not from that needy I don't value myself but I value you to give up all that I am for you type of way. But from a knowing and experiencing your place of power and surrendering that completely to another). I feel like the reality of life entails learning to live as we are. LOVED. Outrageously and relentlessly loved. And from that place of being loved, loving others. I see community playing a vital role within this. The relationships with our family and friends being both the soil and the tools for this love to develop and grow. These relationships both reveal the truth of what love is, and what it is not. But that ultimately God is above all things, in Him all things hold together. Our relationships, our lives. And our time here we're learning to trust that. To trust Him.

Encouragement and an Exuberant Embracement of the Single Status

A little bit of a rewrite from my Sleepless in Seattle Blog (circa 2009), but a story worth revisiting, especially on a day like today :)

There was so much beauty to drink in when canoeing down this river. It simply took my breath away. On this particular day, in addition to the raw natural beauty we passed, the man-made structures that were built along the riverbed caught my eye. I was mesmerized by all of the interesting houses with their differing shapes. Features I'd never before seen. My mind drifted to thoughts of the possibility of one day building a house, embracing some of the architecture from this trip sketching in my mind plans for a future. Mind continued to wander. Maybe my (future) husband and I would build one together. Or maybe even before then. I had been thinking of marriage a lot during this time period. I ended up telling God that I wanted someone to romance me. "I want to be romanced... Swept off my feet" Just one of those little passing thought prayers that you don't spend to much time thinking about.

Quite some time later on this same canoeing expedition, I see this little red object bobbing up and down with the flow of the river. As we continued forward, I tried to take a better look to identify what this intriguing bright red THING could be. Before I knew it my hand was in the water fishing it out so that I could get a better look. When I realized what it was, I couldn't help but smile.

A rose.
A single
fresh cut
red rose.
BEAUTIFUL.

God had not only heard my prayer, but HE romanced me.
It was beautiful.
And I love Him.
He's quite a romantic one...

<3

Another good post that I came across for today from October of 2010

I praise God for my singleness!

He has given me time
to spend in the secret place
He and I.
My beloved.
The place where I get to know His heart and
He gets to explore mine
Mine.
As in:
JUST ME.

I can catch a plane at a moments notice
without a care in the world
I have wings to soar with
Not that I won't soar when I'm married-
I'm just learning to fly high now
Yes, someday it will be alongside someone-
and maybe we'll fly to even greater heights
BUT- I won't be a rookie to the air :)

God has given ME this time to explore
and discover
I've thought for so long
this state of singleness was a holding pattern
For when both I and my future husband are ready for each other
BUT
It's not
This is a gift
That will be a gift too
This is my gift now.

I've started a list of what I want to do while I am still single
What things do you want to do to embrace the season you are in?

(for those of you who presently know me, this is two years and two months prior to me being involved in the airline industry. It "just so happened" that I related the depth of my relationship with God to the heights reached in flying :)

<3

Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing. But being single is a beautiful thing too! Take time to discover, embrace, and challenge yourself. Take risks- apply for that job, create that work of art, walk across the pacific ocean, or fly to Mars. It's not too far-fetched. Embrace the dreams your heart hold. Embrace the people you encounter at school, at work, in the passing on the street. Embrace open armedly the fullness of what you have to offer this life and what Life has to offer you.

And know: you're not alone <3

That time of the month

When emotions are heightened, and I become a bit more reflective.

Not a day has passed where I haven't heard my heart whisper his name. I've tried to ignore it, and drown it with the business of life. Convince myself that i no longer feel for him. But you see, I can't. It was with him that I learned to love at capacities far greater than I could have ever imagined humanly possible. And my heart still looks for him. It's fainter and further between. But he's still there. He'll always be. Just like the ones before him. And what I've come to peace with- I can never stop loving someone. For that to take place it would be because my heart simply stop beating.

It just shifts gears. The expression of my love to grow silent to his ears. But not to the one who holds my heart. Daily when my heart whispers his name, I simply whisper it back and say, "God, he's yours,.."

I no longer scold my heart for loving him. But look forward to the day that my heart will learn to love even more deeply a man who can receive and reciprocate this love.

"It's a Good Day to Die..."

This phrase is said time and time again in a t.v. series that I've been watching online.

To go on a tangent... I've been watching Robin Hood. I love how there is something about it that echoes our life on this earth, living in the kingdom. A group of outlaws, taking small strides for their king while their country is currently in the hands of corruption... PLUS... their is no swearing or inappropriate scenes... AND Robin takes a stand against oppression, giving people hope. Love it.... anyways...

One of the characters, Little John, whenever the group of renegades risk their lives for their cause says, "Today is a good day to die" Which has been a recurring theme for me in the past month.

Several dreams of me teaching what it means to lay down ones life...
Feeling the challenge to die to myself in small ways with family and friends...
Hearing it from the pulpit this Sunday...

I feel the invitation to whatever this may look like,

whether it means:

letting my little brothers use the computer when I'm in the middle of something "important"
biting my tongue and not retaliating with anger when being wrongfully accused,
keeping my heart open when I've been wronged,
taking the first step toward mending a broken relationship,
... etc.

It's on! Because this war that we are fighting is not one of flesh and blood, and our weapons are not weapons of the world but have divine power to demolish strongholds. (ref. eph 6:12 and 2cor10:4) And sometimes these weapons look like death, death to ourselves so that love can take it's place.

Today is a good day to die.

¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other. (John 15)

The Waiting Game

It is with eager anticipation I await my precious package.
Sitting in the living room, looking for any sign of the big brown UPS truck..
I feel like a little child on Christmas morning running around to wake everyone up.
only this is on the inside, bubbling up giddy expectation....

Lord, this is the kind of expectation I want to have when thinking about what you have in store for me. This is how I want to enter into my relationship with you in the day in day out. Expectant of what Word is going to come to life and how we can go about bringing forth your Kingdom here. I think about Jesus, oh for the day that I can see You face to face. Your word says that the pure of heart will see God. I want to see you. I long to see you. Give us clean hands and a pure heart that we might see you face to face. With honesty bring forth the praise within our hearts to lift you up above every circumstance and worry. Let us fix our heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God, Let us set our mind on the things above, not on earthly things. We wait for you Lord. We delight in you Lord. We want to behold you Lord. Increase not only our desire for you and for your Word, but also the drive to DO what your Word says. To move where you are moving us, to say what you are speaking, to reach out where you are reaching. We want to be doers of your word and not only hearers. Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above....

Newness

So I finished a painting today
And am closing in on the end of a chapter of the thrilling page turner entitled, "My Life"
I finalized part one of a two part project the Lord placed on my heart a year ago
These long strides, fruit of a richness I find in my heart these days.
A freedom from timidity
There is NO backing down
No holding back
I throw myself in
passion not withheld
Expectation of what this next year will bring

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is ..."

I will go before you
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.

I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Isaiah 45:2-3

I praise God for my singleness!

He has given me time
to spend in the secret place
He and I.
My beloved
The place where I get to know His heart and
He gets to explore mine
Mine.
As in:
JUST ME.
I can catch a plane at a moments notice
without a care in the world
I have wings to soar with
Not that I won't soar when I'm married-
I'm just learning to fly high now
Yes, someday it will be alongside someone-
and maybe we'll fly to even greater heights
BUT- I won't be a rookie to the air :)
God has given ME this time to explore
and discover
I've thought for so long
this state of singleness was a holding pattern
For when both I and my future husband are ready for each other
BUT
It's not
This is a gift
That will be a gift too
This is my gift now.

I've started a list of what I want to do while I am still single
What things do you want to do to embrace the season you are in?

Beautiful Season

I love what the Lord is doing
In my heart
In my life
All around me.
He's great
I love how he reveals things to us before their time.
That there are secrets in store for us,
waiting to be revealed.
Just because
He loves so intently

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15




(painting done by member of Living Word Church, Mesa Arizona)

Dance On

February, 2010

Know that you are healed.

Know that you are healed...

I am healed.

Am I healed?

Desperately I long for it

But am I willing to let go?

To let go of the brokenness that had defined me

Exchange pity for love

To take on a new identity

Is it really new or has it been all along?

Jesus come

I yearn for it- my heart and flesh cry out for freedom

From fear, from intimidation, from judgement-

I've been freed

To intimately experience the heart and the face of the living God

To move in tune

To hear the rhythms of His heart

And dance

To be known inside and out

To be free

I've gotten tastes of freedom- I've been freed

But I've found myself time and time again back in the shackles from which I had been freed

But no more- no more.

For me, for my generation- for others, for the generation to come- for my children, for my children's children I press on

To love, and to be loved

To trust and to enjoy being trusted

To shout aloud to contend

To take back

To lay hold

To hold on

And I will dance in celebtation of what's been done

And what is yet to come

The Worship Parade

It was so beautiful. I was blessed to worship alongside friends that go way back to elementary school, it was so rad. We were at church lined up in our row, and all of a sudden I was experiencing it someplace else. I had this vision, wherein all of us were standing, as we were lined there in our sanctuary only we were lined up for a parade. Not the sort of city parade where you have lots of different event going by. It was more like a Disney Land parade where you have one show, the main event to see. JESUS was the event, He was the reason we gathered along the gold paved street. He was walking by and it was such a celebration! We each took turns going up to Him, some of us kissing His feet, some of us bringing Him our troubles and fears. They are gifts. Some handing over bitterness and resentment toward someone. Whatever it is that we bring Him, our brokenness our failures- He receives it all with great joy and gives each of us a big hug and a kiss atop our heads before we return to the line and rejoin the celebration.

The Sacred Serenade - La Serenata Sagrada

So I´ve always dreampt of being serenaded. The romance of it, someone being so intensely in love with me that they just have to express it in the middle of the night through a song that they wrote for me and just can´t wait until morning to express... hopeless romantic, I know... (I shouldn´t say hopeless, because someday, i know this romance will come...)

But I love that I´m in love with an even more romantic God (we are made in his image, so why shouldn´t he be romantic...) and humorous too...

So this morning I was listening to the radio that the construction workers next door were listening to, and it was all about Serenades... so that longing for romance was stirred....

I´m sitting at the kitchen table eating bread and drinking coffee when all of a sudden I am no longer in control of my left hand... it´s being held by a thirteen year old boy who sponatneously burst into a fifteen second song dedicated to me....


Haha. LordDadGod, you are funny... and I just love you.

Siempre he deseado una serenata. El romance de eso, que alguien este tan enamorado con mi que lo tienen que expresarlo y no pueden esperar hasta la maniana para expresarlo en una cancion... tal vez soy una romantica sin esperanza (bueno, no debo decir sin esperanza, porque se que algun dia ese romance llegara...)

Amo que estoy enamorada con un Dios que es aun mas romantica (somos hechos en su imagem, entonces porque no seria romantico?) y chistoso tambien...

Entonces esta ma~ana estaba escuchando el radio que constructores a la par estaban escuchando, y se trataba de serenatas... entonces ese deso para romance salio en mi...

Estaba sentada tomando cafe, y de un pronto a otro ya no tenia control de mi mano... un chiquito de trece spontaniamente me hecho una cancion de unos 15 segundos. Insipirada y dedicada a mi...

HAHA Se~orPapiDios, eres chistoso, y solamente Te Amo

Change My Heart

So you know those people who when they get online, you can't help but roll your eyes... I was so passive talking with someone tonight, I could've just cried. I did not want to chat with her, but something kept me there. She starts to pour out her heart... JESUS???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS????? walls go up inside me, I start doing something else online. I don't want to touch this with a ten foot pole. Why? Pride and Fear mostly. What if what I say isn't enough? she keeps sharing. Desperately crying out for help. So i pray, and God gives me the words, a heart for her, and a lesson in humility along with it... because freedom was brought to this young woman's life. YEP, inner healing happens over the internet- but it's all Jesus, and not me. It is his compassion for this child of his (The Lord knows I didn't have any to offer when we started.)

Jesus, take this heart, purify its motives, that my heart would be where yours is

A True God Sent

I just met the most amazing woman that I have ever met in my life. One day she realized that she could do more than just be a house wife, and she prayed to God that he would show her how to use her to the best of her abilities. The next day a woman stopped by early in the morning asking her if she could take care of her three kids. More and more children kept arriving, and pretty soon she had to ask her mother in law for space to watch kids, but even that wasn’t enough. Within time she had some government support and was able to have a place for the kids to come daily. Her doors open before 6 and she has kids until after 10 at night.

She receives a little bit of government support for 80 some of the children. She receives well over that number, many of the children’s parents undocumented and unable to pay. She’s all go go go – as she runs the whole show with the help of 3 other women.

The most impacting thing is the LOVE that she pours out for these children. She shared with me that with every diaper she changes she is giving everything she has. She won’t make disgusting faces, but willingly cleans each one of them – just one of the many ways that she expresses her love to the children. She also shared about she disciplines them and uses tough love so that they learn, and won’t let them get by with all that they try to do. She boasts that not one swear word is spoken within her gates.

What broke my heart was hearing the story of a little boy and his little sister. Their mother is a prostitute and drug addict, both born of different fathers. They are some of the kids that are there until ten at night. One day the mom dropped of her son, and not her daughter. She didn’t come back to pick him up until four days later. This same little boy has been abused by his stepfather- his little sister’s father. The woman explains that those are the reasons why she works as much as she does.

She provides a safe place for these children to be. Free from drugs, free from violence, and abuse. If they weren’t with her they would be in their houses, neighbor’s houses or on the streets, suffering through all sorts of evils. She knows all about the street life, having grown up there herself, and she wants something better for these kids. She wants to have a place where they are safe, they are loved, and they are encouraged to move forward in their studies and live a different lifestyle from that of their parents.