Faith in What?

What I believe, and how I believe is ever being transformed. Some recent stirrings of my heart, and some good conversations inspired this. This isn't concrete or set in stone. Like anything within my life and heart, I desire for this to be malleable.

I believe that God is love. He - (I don't think that God is limited to one gender, I think that since we are created in His image both male and female the coming together of man and woman greater exemplifies the character of God-but I use the pronoun He, because it's just easier)- He is so much more- but ultimately love. I don't think that He's far off, rather SO near- tangibly expressing that love in both the extravagant and the most minute of details. Always communicating and if we are just willing to notice we'd be able to enter into some pretty awesome conversations. I believe that He has SO much for us. He has so much to give, and draw out within us. 

I think that we are His works of art, and He is so invested, in seeing us learn, grow, and meet our full potential. He is committed. I feel like each of us embody certain characteristics of Him, and that the entirety of the universe is filled with the anticipation of us becoming all that He's created us to be. And first and foremost (aside from what we DO) that anticipation built up around us knowing who we truly are- sons and daughters of the living God. Sons and daughters of our King! And with Him being King- and us being his BELOVED children- there is an inheritance with that, an authority that we have on this earth now and in the age to come. 

As His children, not only are we taken care of by Him, but empowered to create or reshape life both in the tangible realm and the unseen. Partnering with Him as powerfully creative life forces, since He has come to give us life and life abundantly. I think that we are unsettled with things pertaining only to this realm as the longings we hold within our hearts can only truly be satisfied within our connection with Him. I think that matters of our hearts can hinder that connectedness with Him- not from His standpoint, as I believe His heart is ALWAYS for us, and He is always pursuing us in love. Rather, from our temporal inability to to let go of whatever we are holding and embrace him. (Like in the Garden when God was looking for Adam and he had been hiding.) 

So I think that sin separates us from God, not because God can't get his hands dirty, but because we spend so much effort distancing ourselves due to shame. I think that the purpose of the law was to exemplify how much we couldn't do this life within our own strength and that we are dependent upon God. I think that the commandments were things to help us govern our hearts, and the life that we share with others- a template for how to love well. That this life is about loving God, ourselves, and others with all that we are. And I think that that's where Jesus comes in. 

I believe that we encounter a triune God. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And because we can tend to get so wrapped up in performance and the tallies either for or against us, that He came to walk among us- show us how to live dependently upon God, and to shake up everything we ever clung to (whether that be people, places, profession, ideas, etc). He showed us how to truly live in the laying down of His life. He demonstrated that there is life in the laying down of our lives. THAT is love. Emptying out yourself for another person. (but not from that needy I don't value myself but I value you to give up all that I am for you type of way. But from a knowing and experiencing your place of power and surrendering that completely to another). I feel like the reality of life entails learning to live as we are. LOVED. Outrageously and relentlessly loved. And from that place of being loved, loving others. I see community playing a vital role within this. The relationships with our family and friends being both the soil and the tools for this love to develop and grow. These relationships both reveal the truth of what love is, and what it is not. But that ultimately God is above all things, in Him all things hold together. Our relationships, our lives. And our time here we're learning to trust that. To trust Him.

to the comatose

lift up your eyes, o you people
lift them up to the Lord, for it is He that has shone light upon your path
it is He that rescues you
He that saves, heals, sets free
can you not see that it was He who has been beside you? upholding your steps.
open your eyes.
see Light for Light.
dark for dark.
Truth for Truth.
and lie for lie.
you have eyes to see and ears to hear.
they have seen and have heard before.
you have seen and heard.

open up!
open your hearts, your lives
before the Lord, before each other.
there is no need to hide or protect any longer.
for He makes you whole and HE is your defense.
HE is your strength and your song!
do you not remember?
awake! awake!
awake! awake!
you will yet again see, you will yet again hear.
you will taste and see that the Lord is good, that HE alone is God: your sustainer.

The Waiting Game

It is with eager anticipation I await my precious package.
Sitting in the living room, looking for any sign of the big brown UPS truck..
I feel like a little child on Christmas morning running around to wake everyone up.
only this is on the inside, bubbling up giddy expectation....

Lord, this is the kind of expectation I want to have when thinking about what you have in store for me. This is how I want to enter into my relationship with you in the day in day out. Expectant of what Word is going to come to life and how we can go about bringing forth your Kingdom here. I think about Jesus, oh for the day that I can see You face to face. Your word says that the pure of heart will see God. I want to see you. I long to see you. Give us clean hands and a pure heart that we might see you face to face. With honesty bring forth the praise within our hearts to lift you up above every circumstance and worry. Let us fix our heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God, Let us set our mind on the things above, not on earthly things. We wait for you Lord. We delight in you Lord. We want to behold you Lord. Increase not only our desire for you and for your Word, but also the drive to DO what your Word says. To move where you are moving us, to say what you are speaking, to reach out where you are reaching. We want to be doers of your word and not only hearers. Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above....

Hope Chest

When I was younger my Grandma Pat gave me a few items for my hope chest.
A crystal candy dish was among them.
Years later my aunt gave me cool wall hangy things, into the "hope chest" they went.
My hope chest keeps growing and growing, and within the last few day's at quite a rapid pace.
I can't help but be excited as I can tell that these items are going to be put to use very soon.

A few weeks ago while discovering my home decor style is "vintage eclectic" whilst looking through a magazine with a friend. I spotted a couch that I thought was incredible. Not so incredible when I saw the $900 price tag. BUT while out on a walk on my BIRTHDAY nonetheless I came upon this vintage couch almost identical to what I had seen only weeks before... Happy Birthday to me!

I praise God for this and for friends who helped me load it into the van.

(Random side story.... We don't have a shop-vac anymore so I took my van to a little car care place, paid 75 cents, and vacuumed the dog hair off the couch from the previous owner :)

While out celebrating with a couple of friends we discovered yet another little take home treasure. A round kitchen table and 2 chairs! Win!

God's providing for my needs before they are even needs, it's so great, He's moving so powerfully so quickly. I'm loving sitting back and resting in Him as we coast forward together :)

Come Up Higher

Newness

So I finished a painting today
And am closing in on the end of a chapter of the thrilling page turner entitled, "My Life"
I finalized part one of a two part project the Lord placed on my heart a year ago
These long strides, fruit of a richness I find in my heart these days.
A freedom from timidity
There is NO backing down
No holding back
I throw myself in
passion not withheld
Expectation of what this next year will bring

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is ..."

I will go before you
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.

I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Isaiah 45:2-3

Beautiful Season

I love what the Lord is doing
In my heart
In my life
All around me.
He's great
I love how he reveals things to us before their time.
That there are secrets in store for us,
waiting to be revealed.
Just because
He loves so intently

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15




(painting done by member of Living Word Church, Mesa Arizona)

Dance On

February, 2010

Know that you are healed.

Know that you are healed...

I am healed.

Am I healed?

Desperately I long for it

But am I willing to let go?

To let go of the brokenness that had defined me

Exchange pity for love

To take on a new identity

Is it really new or has it been all along?

Jesus come

I yearn for it- my heart and flesh cry out for freedom

From fear, from intimidation, from judgement-

I've been freed

To intimately experience the heart and the face of the living God

To move in tune

To hear the rhythms of His heart

And dance

To be known inside and out

To be free

I've gotten tastes of freedom- I've been freed

But I've found myself time and time again back in the shackles from which I had been freed

But no more- no more.

For me, for my generation- for others, for the generation to come- for my children, for my children's children I press on

To love, and to be loved

To trust and to enjoy being trusted

To shout aloud to contend

To take back

To lay hold

To hold on

And I will dance in celebtation of what's been done

And what is yet to come

The Worship Parade

It was so beautiful. I was blessed to worship alongside friends that go way back to elementary school, it was so rad. We were at church lined up in our row, and all of a sudden I was experiencing it someplace else. I had this vision, wherein all of us were standing, as we were lined there in our sanctuary only we were lined up for a parade. Not the sort of city parade where you have lots of different event going by. It was more like a Disney Land parade where you have one show, the main event to see. JESUS was the event, He was the reason we gathered along the gold paved street. He was walking by and it was such a celebration! We each took turns going up to Him, some of us kissing His feet, some of us bringing Him our troubles and fears. They are gifts. Some handing over bitterness and resentment toward someone. Whatever it is that we bring Him, our brokenness our failures- He receives it all with great joy and gives each of us a big hug and a kiss atop our heads before we return to the line and rejoin the celebration.

Wrong Bus... Or was it the Right bus?

While I was waiting at the bus stop, I saw a woman digging through the trash outside of the supermarket, grabing things that they couldn’t sell for one reason or another. And it just burned within me that I wanted to buy her a bag of rice and beans. When I saw burned within in me I’m talking profit Jeremiah saying “If I say I will not mention him, or speak more in his name, there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in , and I cannot.” (Jer 20:9) So I went and bought her a bag of rice and a bag of beans $6-7 dollar purchase. And for me not having much, that’s a lot. So I go to give it to her and she says, set it over there. She didn’t even receive the gift in her hands. So I set it where she had told me to. When I see her next she is waiting for the bus, having left the bag where I had set it.

I was so confused and hurt. Had God not placed it in my heart to do this? Is she not in need of this? Instead of scrounging through the garbage, she had before her a meal. WHY? Why would she leave this? Why didn’t she want it? Was it because I had said God bless you? Was it because she had pride? Was it because I presented it to her with pride? God quieted the questions of my heart, and spoke to me that I had done what he had placed for me to do. I did it with all my heart for Him. And He is grateful, he received this. How she reacts is hers, and has no weight on me. He showed me that this is how many are presented with the free gift of Life – here on this earth, continued into eternity in Jesus- that they need not pay the price for their sins and face death- he’s already paid it- he’s given them the meal, yet still they scrounge around looking for something else in the garbage…

So I got on the bus, only it was the one to the Monte de la Cruz and not las Chorreras like I needed. At first I was kind of upset because I would need to walk a ways and up a steep hill, but then Irealized that God had an appointment for me. So I asked the woman next to her if I could pray for her. She said for her daughter who was pregnant, so I did, but how God works- he placed things on my heart to pray for her. And she rested her head in my shoulder, I could feel that she didn’t have that, someone to confide in and just hold her, so I did, and I saw a picture of God having a big lap and him just folding her in his arms. It was beautiful.

I got off the bus and WALKED and walked. And I felt the need to walk quicker, and as I did God spoke to me of how one day I would need to walk REALLY FAST and with ease to get from one village to another, to tend to medical emergencies – K God! Cool.

So then I see this old man walking down hill hobbling along with a cane. So I cross the road say the normal “Buenas” as you se a stranger walk passed you. Then I asked him about his knee. He told me it was bad and that he used to fall a lot and hit his head, and then he started to walk with a cane. So I asked him, if I could pray for him. “Of course!” was his reply. So I spoke healing to his knee, I told it to come into alignment every cell tissue, muscle- everything- and then I felt a shift in his knee under my hand, I felt his blood flowing through it washing away something. When I had finished with that, he asked if I was praying for the sick, and I said "sure!"

He told me that he was deaf in his left ear. So I asked if I could stick my fingers in his ears, and he said yeah, whatever you want. So I did and I commanded his ears to open, and everything to come into alignment as the way the Lord had created it. His tympani, incus, malleus,and stratus. And as I said that I saw in my minds eye that the connections of these parts of his ear were broken, the middle one kind of sagged farther down from the other two- I saw them line up right. And when I took my fingers out of his ears he said thnk you. I asked him how he was and he said better. So I asked him for real? (many times I’ve encountered that out of politeness people will say yes when really it’s a no) But he was like seriously I hear 100% out of this ear. I told him that it was because of Jesus that he was now healed and that he and his family must give all thanks to him for this.

As I write now, I realize that back in July, Jesus asked me to study the anatomy of the ear, because he wanted me to open someone’s left ear. I would pray every once and a while for this person’s ear and this person who was going to be healed. I was always on the lookout for one, but I came across several right ears, which I prayed for, but not seeing anything happen. It was such a treat to finally see God do something with the word that he had given me 11 months ago. YAY!